So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
