Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
