I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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