so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
