textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
