Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
