Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dicks are not precious.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
