I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
