took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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