I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
