I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
