What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
