Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
