wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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