belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this beer tastes like vomit already
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
