That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
