we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
