i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
