I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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