He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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