he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
