i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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