do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I need to stop coming to work sober
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
