True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
