You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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