you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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