Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
