I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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