Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
