Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
