You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
