I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
