worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
