Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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