just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
