you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
