I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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