Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she smelled like a LAN party
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
