Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
