You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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