there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
