why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
