she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize