we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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