Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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