They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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