My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
