i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
