i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Boobs speak an international language.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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