I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
