He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
