im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
