yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
