you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
