All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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