Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
