So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
