I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
