It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
