Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
