the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
