corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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