I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
