worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Watching her eat just hurts me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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