Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
